Lynn's Musings

From a Deep Well

Predetermination or Chaos?

I had one of those days when things began to go wrong, really wrong, but in the end turned out pretty good after all. It started with my lawn. It needed cutting. When it came to mowing, my routine was the same every time. I’d say a little prayer for the mower to start and pull the starter rope. The engine would fire up; I’d give thanks and be on my way. But not this day. Two pulls, three, four, two more pushes on the primer button, I wiggled the spark plug connector and nothing.
The grass was long and needed either cutting or bailing. I imagined the neighbors looking at my yard, muttering and shaking their heads. I’d been in my house two years but was still the new kid on the block.
I got in my car, heading for the local Toro dealer. Maybe they could pick up my mower or make a house call. I pulled out onto the road and noticed my neighbor’s lawn guy standing in their yard, his big zero-turn mower trailered behind his truck. I hit the brakes and turned into their driveway.
“Would he have the time to mow my lawn?”
“Sure, no problem.” He’d have it done today.
I was saved for now at least. The strange thing was, when that testy mower of mine wouldn’t start, he and his machine were the first things I thought of and VOILA there he was. This sort of thing happens to me all of the time. I’ll think that guy’s gonna pull out and sure enough he does. Or the phone will ring and once in a while I know who it is before looking at the number. It doesn’t happen often but enough to make me wonder. I get these little touches of precognition, moments ahead of time. All of this makes me wonder: Is the future set in stone or is life nothing but chaos.
My days tend to lean to the chaos side of the equation but I’ve come to believe life is predetermined for the Big Stuff. For example; when I think about the complex set of events that puts two strangers in the same place at the same time and for them to not pass each other by, it boggles my mind. There has been less than a hand full of people who have come into my life that way and I KNOW each one wasn’t a coincidence.
The chaos comes into play in the small choices. Does what I had for breakfast matter in any cosmic sense? I don’t think it does – but who know for sure?
So every now and then I get a brief peek at what’s to come in the next second or two. I’m glad and relieved it isn’t more. I’ve never had my palm read, tea leaves analyzed or fortune told because I don’t want to know the future. I want to be surprised.

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